How do you know that you are on your path?

Because it disappears. This and other lessons from darkness and eclipses.

It’s Monday, April 8, 1:25 a.m.

I’m hopping in a van with two close friends. Our goal: to reach Cleveland, Ohio by 8 a.m. and find the perfect vantage point for the eclipse. It felt like an adventure lifted straight from the pages of a storybook.

According to our thorough research, Cleveland was meant to offer a 100% path of totality, with only a 20% chance of overcast—conditions that promised an unobstructed view of the universe’s magic.

The journey itself, however, turned out to be an unexpected odyssey.

Our car broke down en route, a twist of fate that tested our resilience (and patience). Despite the setback, we pressed on, our determination untamed, only to find ourselves in a location with 99% totality.

“In the middle of our life’s journey, I found myself in a dark wood.” — Dante

It was in this moment of near-perfection and slight disappointment that I was reminded of David Wagoner's profound poem, “Lost.” The journey and its unforeseen challenges seemed to mirror the poem’s essence— the understanding that for me to find “home” I must be ok with being lost. And that in that moment of utter unknowing, the one thing to do is to pay attention, to stand still.

Lost

Stand still. 
The trees ahead and bushes beside you
Are not lost. 
Wherever you are is called Here, 
And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,
Must ask permission to know it and be known.
The forest breathes. Listen. 
It answers,
I have made this place around you.
If you leave it, you may come back again, saying Here.
No two trees are the same to Raven.
No two branches are the same to Wren.
If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,
You are surely lost. 
Stand still. 
The forest knows
Where you are. 
You must let it find you.

-- David Wagoner (1999)

This idea of standing still, of allowing the forest—or, in our case, the universe—to find us, became particularly poignant as we stood at 99% totality. We had embarked on a journey to chase the darkness, only to discover that the true path forward was not in the pursuit but in the stillness. In the quiet of that almost-complete darkness, surrounded by the sounds of nature, I realized that the eclipse was teaching us a profound lesson about life itself.

How do you know that you are doing something radical?
Because you can’t see where you are going.
Everything you have lent on for your identity is gone. 
You are going to enter the black contemplative splendors of self-doubt at the same time you are walking on this radical path.  — David Whyte

The partial totality we experienced became a metaphor for the shadows of my own existence, those parts of myself that I give away or hide to feel safe. Like Whyte's poem, my experience suggested that it is only by acknowledging and standing still within these shadows that we can truly begin to understand ourselves and our place in the world.

“You are entering the black contemplative splendors of self-doubt…”

The forest, with its infinite variety and complexity, knows where we are even when we feel lost. By allowing it to find us, by paying attention and listening, we learn to navigate the cycles of light and darkness in our lives.

So, what do we do when we find ourselves lost in the metaphorical forest, chasing eclipses or dreams?

We stand still. We pay attention. We let the moments of darkness pass and trust that the forest, the universe, will find us. Our journey to Cleveland, in search of the perfect eclipse, taught me that sometimes, by standing still and embracing the power of the here, I allow myself to be found by the very destiny I seek.

Also, by standing still, I was aware of our role in the universe. There we were, travelers of Mother Earth, visitors. The eclipse, a vivid reminder of how we must keep her alive. Of how we are just spots in the timeline of the universe. When the sky went dark and bursts of light shot across the sky, a thought struck me... here we are... all of us, collectively living for just a moment. Much like the minutes the moon takes to eclipse the sun, we too get to shine for a brief moment. <3

Until next time.

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